The plague

Deuteronomy 28:15, 42

"But it shall come about, if you do not obey the LORD your God, to observe to do all His commandments and His statutes with which I charge you today, that all these curses will come upon you and overtake you: ... The cricket shall possess all your trees and the produce of your ground."

I do not know what central Texas did to offend the Almighty, but...

All those little black specks and that full black runner across the corner and up the wall: yup, crickets. I apologize for the poor quality of the picture, but I didn't dare roll down the window for fear that the buzzing swarm might carry off my Hannah.

And this is only one building. You should see our grocery store. The entire outside wall was black with crickets. They swarmed over the pumpkins like... well... locusts. We will be celebrating Halloween with Styrofoam pumpkins this year... in our hermetically sealed house... with lots and lots of Raid.

Apparently, every year with football season comes cricket season (because of course I couldn't move somewhere that had football season and guinea pig season. Why'd it have to be bugs?!). The problem is, it seems most of the indigenous population is oblivious to the chirping plague. They brush them off their veggies, they drop their children off in hop-filled nurseries, they walk into stores as if the sidewalk beneath their feet isn't making a gag-reflex inducing squish crick crack squash sound.

Justin and I are thinking of making signs and standing on the street corners: ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WITH BUGGY FEAR! or maybe something simpler, like: THIS IS NOT OK!

I want people to understand that this is not normal. I want them to be freaking out. I need them to repent in dust and ashes or whatever Biblical humility might be required to end the plague. Because if the same swarms had appeared in Egypt, Pharaoh would have sent the Israelites away to freedom riding on the back of his very own camel.

After a very chirpy, hoppy church service Justin asked if I had known about the crickets would I still have moved us here. My keen sense of our relationship smelled a trap. I suspected he wanted some sort of confession out of me. I suspected he was on to me. Feeling very clever, I evasively shared my disdain for the bugs, avoiding any life-change discussion.

"I wouldn't have!" he declared. "This is NOT OKAY!"

Or maybe I could just be honest with my husband, like he is with me. Maybe I could not suspect him of being a devious little twerp like I am.

But here we are. And here are the crickets. And we have been informed they will not be leaving any time soon. And neither will we. -whimper- Just repent already Texas!!!