Come on!

Sometimes it is the simpliest commands that are nearly impossible to follow. In the dark forests of my sin nature, the Mirkwood of all my nastiness, anger, and spite, stands the Dol Guldur of the enemy's stronghold: Impatience. (If you have never seen The Lord of the Rings I really can't imagine what we have to talk about.)

I am neurotically obsessed with the clock. If I went to one of those blessed contries where time is a suggestion and meetings occur when everyone arrives, I would probably turn into the Incredible Abi-Hulk. Off I would rampage into the jungle to uproot trees and clock myself in the head with stone mountains. It appeared most viciously in class. Anything the professor said after the class had ended according to the clock was really just wasted breath. As they rattled on I would begin to fume, my skin would bubble with glowing gamma-ray muscles and my eyes would flame green. It didn't matter if I was desperately interested in the topic or debate, or if it was life-shatteringly important to the rotation of the cosmos. If the clock was violated, darkness ensued.

It seems ridiculous, but this is the battleground of my spirit. Impatience is not loving. Impatience does not seek the best for another. It is self-serving, anger-enducing, and mind-numbing. I have appealed to my Captain on multiple accounts to help me deal with this vice. However, the problem is, when you ask the Lord for patience, He doesn't just zap you with His sparkly patience wand. He gives you situations in which patience can grow... The very same situations in which I go all Hulky. I am almost loathe to ask for patience now. Almost. There is still enough of me that loves my God to wait for my patience.

I am constantly trying to understand what I am really saying when I tap my foot at someone, when I check my watch, when I feels my skin start to bubble in irritation. Truth is reality from God's perspective. The truth is: Impatience declares human beings less important than time.

The "love" chapter in Corinthians 13 starts the very definition of love with patience. And so I wait on Him to make me new.