The Medical System Part 2

Remember back in grade school how all the cool kids wore Air Jordans, and sagged their pants down to their ankles, and got hot lunch to eat? When you grow up and enter a liberal university dance department in search of a master’s degree, all the cool kids are gluten free. They saunter into potlucks with soupy looking cookies, peel the toppings off their pizza, and are constantly searching for the world’s most perfect gluten free beer.

When my doctor first mentioned that I might have Celiacs disease I told him that it is not possible because I am not cool enough to be gluten free. Hip, trendy people who shop at Whole Foods are gluten free. I told him that wheatlessness would just feel like such a lie. He gave me a look. You know the look; the one that says “I’ve got a psychiatrist friend I met at a conference who could maybe help us out here.”

Usually, I have a huge amount of respect for doctors, for the amount of time they put into their education and how they pour into other people’s lives. However, sometimes all the studying in the world can’t teach you more about a body than the lady living in it. As a dancer I understand this mortal coil, its quirks, faults, and beauties better than many. And I’m pretty sure my Little Debbie pounding mortal coil does not have a gluten problem. I have the opposite of Celiacs disease... I think they call that gluttony.

One of the doctors I saw in the last few months suggested I take a break from a new medication I started mid October. Remember this adventure in regurgitation all started at the end of October. Since stopping my regimen with this medication four days ago I have not thrown up. Could it really be that simple? Why did it take me and a highly trained team of disturbingly intelligent professionals two months to figure this out? I am continuing in the experiment before I drawn life-changing conclusions here; however, it is difficult to not be excited when you order a barbecue chicken pizza for dinner and for the first time in two months don't re-experience it twenty minutes later.